5 Stages
by soloscribe
Summary: A continuation of "Loose Ends" & "Qualify"  Everyone processes the shooting differently, and Jane is finally waking up to that. Reviews are always love.


_So here's my continuation on "Loose Ends" and "Qualify." I hope to continue writing, but that all depends on ideas and how much research it takes to pull it off. We'll see what the muse brings to me or what the next episode gives me…_

Jane had just finished slipping some sugar into her tea when she saw Maura start to slide. Somehow, she managed to skirt Bass and catch her friend before she hit the hard kitchen floor. "Maur!"

The medical examiner gasped, one hand clutching at Jane's arm. "It's okay… I'm … I'm … I slipped on this wet spot."

"yeah, okay," Jane agreed, offering a hand and helping her friend to her feet. "I don't get why you can't just put on a pair of house shoes. Slippers. Hell, I'll buy you a pair of pink bunny slippers for your birthday. Or those ballet-looking ones."

Maura straightened her blouse and brushed at her skirt. "They're actually very comfortable."

"Those?" came the skeptical reply as the detective pointed at the heels.

"_Those_, as you so generally refer to them, are Jimmy Choos. And happen to be one of my favorite—ooh!" she hissed as she tried to take a step.

"Jimmy Choo may have sprained your ankle," Jane muttered, guiding one of Maura's arms around her waist. "Come on, to the couch…. Excuse me, _settee_."

"Actually, it's a sofa," Maura started, mouth closing when she got that look.

It took a few moments of slow-going, and a few more gasps from Maura before the medical examiner was reclining on the sofa, her foot cradled in Jane's hands. Jane peered close, her thumb grazing over the ankle. "We should get it checked."

Maura shook her head. "No, it's fine. I just strained a few muscles. It barely hurts anymore." When she got a stern look and several more skeptical questions, she protested, "Jane, come on, I'm a medical examiner. I think I would know if I needed x-rays."

"I'm not stupid," came the retort. "I do have some basic first aid training here, and I know what I'm looking for. Like _edema_." At the surprised and slightly amused smile from Maura, Jane continued, "See, I pick up stuff from you. It's not all '_blah, blah, blah. _Jane. _ Blah, blah, blah'._"

"You are very intelligent," Maura assured. "But I promise it's not that bad. Barely a twinge, and if you see me limping tomorrow, I promise to get it checked. Now go get our tea."

"See? Bossy," Jane muttered under her breath, trying not to crack a smile when her friend tossed a pillow at her and gave another command of _go!_ "At least Ma didn't come crashing in to see what's wrong. She was really quiet tonight … You know, for her, anyway."

Gnocchi night had been very subdued. Not only had her father, of course, been missing, but Frankie had a last minute schedule change and had been on duty. While the gnocchi and wine had been excellent—even if Jane still preferred beer—it simply hadn't been the same. And it wouldn't ever the same.

With a heavy sigh, Jane handed over a cup of tea and sank into the sofa. Her fingers traced idly over the soft fabric, and she tucked her legs up as she settled into one end.

"You're really quiet tonight, too," Maura finally spoke up, setting her cup on a coaster. "She's grieving, and she's hit the depression stage … so have you."

As much as Jane wanted to deny it, she couldn't. The words were spoken kindly, and the look her best friend was giving her was pure compassion. "Seems like she's still pretty angry, too. I remember enough of Intro to Psych to know it's denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance."

Maura shrugged and slipped her feet from her shoes to mimic Jane's pose. As she adjusted a pillow behind her shoulder, she mused, "Well, you'll probably also remember that that stages of grief don't really have a fixed order. It's very common for people to skip a few or go back and forth between several. Your mother is vacillating between anger and depression. You're caught between denial and depression."

"Yeah, well, Frankie seems to have arrived at acceptance just fine. And Pop, well who the hell knows. I've barely had one conversation with him in the last week. Just a string of phone messages, and one call long enough to say he was okay and had to go and couldn't talk." Her frustration surprised even her. She punched the pillow, and wished she could let it go for a little while and just relax.

"And some anger," came the clinical observation.

Dark eyes narrowed. "Maura, could you _not_ do that? Just for one night?" The chastened look on her friends face had Jane almost regretting that she was turning on her best friend, too. _Maybe, _ she reflected, _I'm not the easiest person in the world to have as a best friend._ Her fingers pressed the bridge of her nose, and she shook off the irritation. "I'm sorry… I know you're trying to help. It's just… complicated. Is it wrong to feel like he owes me an explanation? For whatever reason, Ma's not giving up a lot of details, and I don't feel like I can push her any more."

Maura was quiet for a few moments, her head tilted slightly as her eyes focused somewhere in the middle distance. "Well, your mother is trying to protect you from making this any harder for you than it already is. He _is_ still your father, and she's trying to keep her children out of it. It's between the two of them, even if it affects all of you. Frankie's had more time to process all of this."

"Well, I get that, really I get it, but it's like in the last few weeks, even before I knew about the divorce, Pop's barely been around. I was… I was his little girl."

Maura reached over and gave her foot a gentle squeeze, pulling it to stretch alongside her. "And you just want to know you still are. It's really sweet, and frustrating. I think he's still distancing himself from you because he doesn't want to hurt you any more than you already are. Or he might be angry, still."

"Angry at me? For trying to save Frankie?" Jane shot back.

"Angry at you for scaring him. For almost losing you, even if your decision says everything about who you are. Even if you did it for every single right reason."

Jane sighed, her head resting on the arm of the couch and thoughts finally starting to click into place. Lifting her head and trying the direct approach she'd used on thousands of interviews, she pressed, "Is that why you're still mad at me?"

If her question startled Maura, the medical examiner didn't show it. Her next words surprised Jane, though. "Yes, although I'm trying not to be. I told you, I know you did it for every right reason. It was really hard to watch you on that pavement, falling. You're my best friend, and although Frost and Korsak and your family are all friends, you're the only friend who really knows me. Who puts up with all of my quirks."

Jane pushed herself to sit up and reached for Maura's wrist, giving it a squeeze. "I'm sorry. I don't think I've said thank you enough, but I am… I'm really sorry. For you and for Ma and Pop and for Frankie." She pulled Maura into a hug, rubbing her friend's back as Maura let out some of the tears she had held in all this time.

"Thanks," Maura finally sighed, rubbing at her eyes. "That was the best therapy I've ever had."

"The cheapest, too," Jane teased, offering Maura's cup to her.

Maura took the last few sips. "Well, therapy became a bit pointless after a while. I already know I have avoidance issues and tend to reduce things to scientific studies and facts as a way of distancing myself. Like you do with sarcasm and humor. It's a defensive mechanism…"

This time, Jane had to give Maura a little credit for seeing the look she was giving her and trailing off. Rather than being offended, she chuckled. "They say admitting you need help is the first step."

"There's that humor again," came the soft tease.

It was a relief to Jane that Maura wasn't pressing on these issues. They tended to circle around things in conversation, sometimes brushing into the center of issues… usually because of Maura's bluntness. Sometimes because of hers. But somehow they had managed a good balance, and it was, to Jane's surprise, actually helping. As she looked up again, she realized Maura was giving her another one of those _welcome to the party, you finally figured out something I knew_ smiles. "Thanks, Maur."

Maura nodded. "Anytime."


End file.
